Solo Laps

I've been doing more and more roped solo stuff. I had started working routes at the local crag that were more slabby, basically 5.3-5.8, but nothing that wasn't much more than a tricky class five walk up with a few crux moves that you wouldn't want to fall off of. So that system consisted of a 'top rope' that had a rope bag with my shoes or whatever giving the line some tension to essentially run up the rope as if it were fixed, this allowed me to flow across the rock and not worry about any system. I accomplished this with use of a wild country ropeman 1. Its important not to use the ropeman with the gnarly teeth as its bad for your rope with regular use. So I start cruising the 'hard' ways I find up these slabs, even throwing in some hook moves with pocket aiders to get over a small bulgey 'roof'.
But at last, it was time to move from top rope to a system that allowed for a lead experience. At our local crag there are a few cracks, but not a whole lot you could protect with trad gear. So I start looking around and low and behold there is a seam that as it turns out is very perceptive to, albeit shallow but, decent cam placements. The best part about this crag is that there's a really nice set of bolts that I probably use the most throughout the year at the top. I would employ these bolts at first to set up a fail safe fixed line with my friend belaying me on lead as usual. The fixed line was just there to make sure if all hell broke loss, there wouldn't be a broken bone situation. The gear placements in the crack, I would discover, are basically to make sure you dont tumble too far, they aren't stopping you from bashing into the walls or tops of the small flakes that make up the most of the climb. One thing I did learn was how to excessively stitch up a route, however, I did fail to pay attention to the sequence of gear needed, this would leave the first solo push very much in questionable territory with sweaty palms.
The very first time I went to solo this thing, I was pretty terrified, but I had gotten a wild hair up my ass and just decided to go one evening. I was there by myself. I had figured out a self belay system with my GriGri and a backpack to feed rope from that went smooth, but the ground anchor, what a mess. At first I had two pieces in on either side of a flake and then a third to place tension back the other direction to make sure the two pieces wouldn't fall out. All this mess was tied together with a giant loop of 1" webbing, doubled over.
To make sure, again, that the ground anchor was secure I clove hitched the line to the first piece, a solid bd #2 c4. From here I proceeded up the route, trying to remember to breath and move smoothly while pulling rope through the GriGri. Of course, this wasn't exactly how it played out. Keep in mind I had a window of about an hour and 15 minutes to get this thing done before 'dusk' and closing time at the park the crag is located in. After the first piece I moved across the main crack. The problem with this crack is that its 'over hung' so to speak and shallow, so full on finger and hand jams are out of the question. This creates a situation where you are forced to trust your feet under a flake and out of site, merely feeling around with your toes on crystals of rock while your hands act in an opposing fashion, almost as if you were trying to widen the crack with your hands. So as far as movement and injury potential go, bad and worse. This move in particular, getting past this first piece in a relatively hairy situation, would become a goal of mine to pull off cleanly. After pulling past this first move up onto a series of flakes I was sure to stick two pretty bomber cams in for the price of one move, confidently found a great pair of finger jams and high stepped. At this point I threw in another cam and set about extending this piece. Going straight up is less of an option as the buldge isn't ideal to mess with on a self belay situation, so a traverse is needed. Even in subsequent climbs I think of this traverse as the second crux, the first being the first move onto the route proper. Essentially a fall wouldn't be pretty here as you're run out a touch and would be buying a one way ticket on the pain train if a slip did occur. Luckily there are some good feet and I was able to futz around with another piece before moving to the last ledge and then to the top. All total I had used 7 pieces and about 35 minutes on a 35 foot route. Not setting any records but it was rewarding to 'just go to work' and send the thing.
This first solo climb was in early may, so it wasn't insanely hot here in delaware, but it wasn't cool either. Over the subsequent months I've been able to reduce the pro on this route to a four pieces, pulling a couple laps within 25 minutes typically. This turn around time is also due to a quick rappel and cleaning system which allows me to get back to the ground, rerack and head back up while the eye of the tiger is still with me. It is this mentality, the eye of the tiger, which has had a magnificent and massive effect on my leading. It seems as if the pull ups and kettlebell swings and bike rides and runs, none of it is as effective as telling yourself to take a breath, visualize, believe and execute without question. Its as if climbing is a mindless mindful sport, on one hand you need to pay attention to everything and the other you should pay attention to nothing. The end result is a laser focus that you could slice the rock with.
My biggest crux right now is getting over the on site leading. My 'adventure climbing/big wall' partner leads a lot and he's got this edge to leap out there and you can see the laser when it activates. So I have one message for my amygdala, the beatings will continue until morale improves. Already however I find myself less and less phased by the exposure and focus more on getting the job done. Its like stepping out of the role of being a tourist and becoming a friend to the rock, world wide, and the world being cool with you crashing on its couch, or like making yourself at home in a lions den, it could be cool, but you could get eaten alive, its just up to how you wanna play it and how cool you wanna stay.

Buenos Dias Mi Amigo

So yesterday after I had day dreamed a while about heading to Denali on a cross canada road trip, only 80 driving hours, I thought to myself, where else is 'in range'?

I pondered where I would go and what I would do. Quickly my thoughts moved to Mexico, specifically to a place described by Randy Leavitt in an episode of the enormocast, El Potrero Chico. Situated just west of Monterey, in the beautiful and mountainous region of the country, this hidden gem is only 31 hours from my home state, 2k miles. There's even a little camp and a guide service apparently.

I need to do more research on the routes, the best time of year to go, and the potential hazards other than the climb itself. But I feel as if this is an adventure which is 'in range', although it begs the question, what else is effectively 'in range' if Mexico isn't too far? Chile? Would it be practical to buy a vehicle, drive to south america, do a first ascent and then donate the vehicle to a good cause and fly back? Who knows, all I do know right now is that the region around Potrero Chico looks amazing and my spanish needs a lot of work before this gringo tries to blend in.

Driving to AK

4,610 miles from Delaware to Alaska, specifically to Denali.

In my Sequoia it would require approximately $1,200 in fuel and 80 hours, 92 realistically, to drive to an adventure that may not have a return trip depending on the level of commitment to the adventure.

On this trip the route would take me through 7 regions of Canada, incredible. But the question is, do you do this trip in an all out assault on the distance to get to the destination, or do I relish the beauty that Canada itself has to offer before returning to the country from whence I came for the final adventure and possible tour of what I can only imagine is a wasteland of civilization, therefore a perfect natural place. On the tour through Canada one could no doubt take weeks to stop off to swim in the numerous lakes and stand in awe on various peaks great and small.

This isn't a leisure vacation, it's a soul cleansing sufferfest. Some people want to go on a cruise and have drinks, I'd rather drive for days and then be gripped by fear and potential mortal situations. Because the fear and anxiety while being alone and in danger, only seems to heighten the sense of being alive, of experiencing reality at its most, well, real. I haven't decided that this plan is even viable, but when you begin to consider what could be possible. A drive to Alaska from the east coat of the US isn't such a big deal, as far as technical challenges go, its just a drive, the adventure is what is made up along the way.

What drives someone to consider such a journey as necessary for their soul? I hope to find out and end the restlessness, to find some kind of answer.

Motivation, keeping the faith

Keeping motivated seems to be a real problem. But is it a lack of motivation or is it a lack of opportunity?

If you could, would you drop out of 'society' tomorrow, effectively just resigning from the theater act that is 'the machine'. To live in one's car for example is seen as a fringe, unattractive choice, but as I consider what to do with life, its not a massive house that drives me, or some new sports car. In fact its the opposite direction, you could consider it poverty of things, but the trade off, at least from my current perspective, would be the freedom of the mind and more importantly the soul.

I feel as if my soul is trapped in a machine, like a ghost, occupying a position on the ethereal assembly line of life, just taking over for the soul that unfortunately was jammed into the redundant bs existence, assigned to fill a prescribed and expected role.

So why continue? I want to live life so badly. At 34 I find myself happily married, yet restless. As I outlined in the first post, the idea of packing a shipping container and sending it to another continent in another hemisphere doesn't seem to bother me, yet I stay. Why? Is it lack of commitment? Is it lack of motivation? Or is it fear that by stepping out of my preassigned position in our society, I may take over my life, I may find control over more, I may find out, that society, is just a hindrance to finding yourself, your life and true happiness.

I truly feel that one is climbing in a dangerous environment, as the risks are elevated, one gains more pure control over one's life. Ultimately the decision of life and death is in your hands. Maybe I'm afraid deep down that if I break out of the typical, if I exit the super highway that's been paved out and made convenient and if I do a little work, I'll take on reality, responsibility and truly hold sway over my life, but that means changes to myself. Am I responsible enough for this journey? I have to be.

So my current motivation is to receive more responsibility for myself, while removing other things that merely take up the facade of responsibility. Paying the cable bill isn't a measure of responsibility. I'm motivated to take on more, but i'm not motivated to take on more of society's bs.

#1 The plan

This whole project, which will no doubt become an adventure for life, was almost dreamed up as an escape from reality. But i think we quickly decided that there was no reason to maintain some status quo just for maintenance sake. What is such a thing maintained for? We currently live in northern delaware, new castle county. The area we live in is nice, and there's a culture that is affectionate toward outdoor pursuits, but we want this on steroids. Some of the other issues, beyond the lack of fun terrain for outdoor fun is the inability to cultivate many resources on your own in northern delaware. We're unable to raise bees, chickens, goats or any other sort of meaningful stocks, because of ordinances or some other goofy reason. So hampered by these bummers, we're giving real thought to moving to less developed areas. Places where maybe you're treated a little more like an adult and not a child that needs to be coddled.

Currently, the crazy idea, at its craziest, is to pack a conex box with all the supplies to build a cabin and start a life in argentina. That's to the extreme end of things. However, i contest that the mendoza region is fantastic and could offer an opportunity to raise grapes, hemp, goats and chicken in rich volcanic soil, while also climbing said volcano, establishing routes and adding some revenue via one of my absolute favorite pursuits, mountaineering. But barring something really crazy, we're more likely to settle in north carolina at this point. There's a ton of research to do, but it may be as easy as taking some weekend trips to visit places, meet people. I want a community to live in, even if my neighbors are miles away.

It seems crazy that with thousands of people living right around me i want to move where i know my neighbors well miles away, but i think the current 'levitown' system of anti soviet urban sprawl is a bit alienating, something seems to be rotten at its core. So we're drawn to the agrarian life style.

As far as infrastructure i've given thought to sinking a well, putting up a solar array and then establishing a camp ground on a plot of land near a climbing spot. This will effectively provide revenue to pay at the very least for the property tax and hopefully some of the mortgage, if there is one, on the property in question, prior to moving to the property.

All these ideas need to be fleshed out more but this is the general frame work for an enterprise which my wife and i wish to embark, hopefully this blog will keep being updated and this dream will be realized. maybe one day i'll turn this stuff into a book. that would be rad.