Buenos Dias Mi Amigo

So yesterday after I had day dreamed a while about heading to Denali on a cross canada road trip, only 80 driving hours, I thought to myself, where else is 'in range'?

I pondered where I would go and what I would do. Quickly my thoughts moved to Mexico, specifically to a place described by Randy Leavitt in an episode of the enormocast, El Potrero Chico. Situated just west of Monterey, in the beautiful and mountainous region of the country, this hidden gem is only 31 hours from my home state, 2k miles. There's even a little camp and a guide service apparently.

I need to do more research on the routes, the best time of year to go, and the potential hazards other than the climb itself. But I feel as if this is an adventure which is 'in range', although it begs the question, what else is effectively 'in range' if Mexico isn't too far? Chile? Would it be practical to buy a vehicle, drive to south america, do a first ascent and then donate the vehicle to a good cause and fly back? Who knows, all I do know right now is that the region around Potrero Chico looks amazing and my spanish needs a lot of work before this gringo tries to blend in.

Driving to AK

4,610 miles from Delaware to Alaska, specifically to Denali.

In my Sequoia it would require approximately $1,200 in fuel and 80 hours, 92 realistically, to drive to an adventure that may not have a return trip depending on the level of commitment to the adventure.

On this trip the route would take me through 7 regions of Canada, incredible. But the question is, do you do this trip in an all out assault on the distance to get to the destination, or do I relish the beauty that Canada itself has to offer before returning to the country from whence I came for the final adventure and possible tour of what I can only imagine is a wasteland of civilization, therefore a perfect natural place. On the tour through Canada one could no doubt take weeks to stop off to swim in the numerous lakes and stand in awe on various peaks great and small.

This isn't a leisure vacation, it's a soul cleansing sufferfest. Some people want to go on a cruise and have drinks, I'd rather drive for days and then be gripped by fear and potential mortal situations. Because the fear and anxiety while being alone and in danger, only seems to heighten the sense of being alive, of experiencing reality at its most, well, real. I haven't decided that this plan is even viable, but when you begin to consider what could be possible. A drive to Alaska from the east coat of the US isn't such a big deal, as far as technical challenges go, its just a drive, the adventure is what is made up along the way.

What drives someone to consider such a journey as necessary for their soul? I hope to find out and end the restlessness, to find some kind of answer.

Motivation, keeping the faith

Keeping motivated seems to be a real problem. But is it a lack of motivation or is it a lack of opportunity?

If you could, would you drop out of 'society' tomorrow, effectively just resigning from the theater act that is 'the machine'. To live in one's car for example is seen as a fringe, unattractive choice, but as I consider what to do with life, its not a massive house that drives me, or some new sports car. In fact its the opposite direction, you could consider it poverty of things, but the trade off, at least from my current perspective, would be the freedom of the mind and more importantly the soul.

I feel as if my soul is trapped in a machine, like a ghost, occupying a position on the ethereal assembly line of life, just taking over for the soul that unfortunately was jammed into the redundant bs existence, assigned to fill a prescribed and expected role.

So why continue? I want to live life so badly. At 34 I find myself happily married, yet restless. As I outlined in the first post, the idea of packing a shipping container and sending it to another continent in another hemisphere doesn't seem to bother me, yet I stay. Why? Is it lack of commitment? Is it lack of motivation? Or is it fear that by stepping out of my preassigned position in our society, I may take over my life, I may find control over more, I may find out, that society, is just a hindrance to finding yourself, your life and true happiness.

I truly feel that one is climbing in a dangerous environment, as the risks are elevated, one gains more pure control over one's life. Ultimately the decision of life and death is in your hands. Maybe I'm afraid deep down that if I break out of the typical, if I exit the super highway that's been paved out and made convenient and if I do a little work, I'll take on reality, responsibility and truly hold sway over my life, but that means changes to myself. Am I responsible enough for this journey? I have to be.

So my current motivation is to receive more responsibility for myself, while removing other things that merely take up the facade of responsibility. Paying the cable bill isn't a measure of responsibility. I'm motivated to take on more, but i'm not motivated to take on more of society's bs.